We asked you to tell us what you ended up spending on someone else's big day. And the sums involved were rather large
Guardian US Money columnist Helaine Olen recently reported that the average bride and groom can expect to spend $28,427 (£19,037) on their nuptials in 2013 – up 5% from 2012.
Not sure if we could believe what we were reading, we asked guests who had attended these uber-weddings to share details of some of the most shameless nuptials they'd ever attended. But it wasn't just the weddings themselves that struck us as unreasonable.
The way our readers tell it, the ballooning cost of these weddings are increasingly being passed on to the guests. They reached deep into their own pockets for globe-spanning flights, overpriced hotels, unnecessary registry gifts, and, in what we consider to be perhaps the most obscene expenditure of all, *£20 for a gin and tonic* (about $30). You read that correctly: a gin and tonic. In some cases, the cost of attending or participating in the wedding forced guests to put their own plans on hold. One guest confessed: "When I get an invitation, my first reaction is always: 'Can I get out of this somehow?'"
Find it hard to believe? Below, our readers tell us about their brush with the wedding-industrial complex, and what it cost them mentally and financially.
*Holly: £1,000 ($1,500)*
*Spent on:* £600 ($894) for travel to Italy, £100 ($149) gift, spending money and party/bridesmaids duties.
By the time the wedding comes around, I'll have been saving for over a year, and worry that still I won't have enough put away.
*Amanda: £6,000 ($8,950)*
*Spent on: *Travel; upscale hotel in the Bahamas where guests were required to stay.
It was not even a real wedding! It was a renewal of vows for their 10th anniversary. The most ridiculous thing was that the couple divorced about two years later! For one bride in particular, a number of pre-wedding luncheons were held, each with a theme and information about the couple's registry. The expectation was that each guest would bring a different gift to each event, in addition to a wedding gift.
*Mary: £1,200 ($1,789)*
*Spent on:* Flight for the wedding, flight for the hen party (and cost of hen party), gift (in cash), dress, shoes, haircut.
My brother and his wife were very grasping, asking for a minimum gift from family of £300 ($447) and boasting about how much they'd 'cleared'. I turn down invitations now because of hen-night costs, new clothes (because bridezillas are very offended if you wear something you already have), travel expenses, gifts, bridal showers, and hotel expenses.
*Lowell: £16,000 ($23,860)*
*Spent on: *Crates of champagne
[It was a] hot air balloon wedding with 40 guests. Only 10 guests could fit into the balloon, so the ceremony was conducted with most guests, me included, still on the ground. The balloon flight was three hours, so guests who couldn't fit were left to kick heels until it returned. Guests were in suits, some in morning dress, stuck in this field. The reasoning behind the balloon ride was that the ever increasing altitude of the balloon symbolised their ever-increasing love. Ahem.
*Louis: More than £10,000 ($14,913)*
*Spent on:* His brother's Australian wedding
The wedding wedding involved a simple ceremony in a backwoods town in Australia. This time [my brother] borrowed money off my folks to fly his children from his first marriage and their partners out from the UK, and his best man, who was unable to contribute in any way to the wedding. Because of going all the way to Australia, people were encouraged to come for at least two weeks. Oh, and one more thing: there was a colour palette it was verboten not to dress in. [Correct color] swatches were sent with the invites."
*Poppy: over £3,000 ($4,473)*
*Spent on: *Flights to Monaco, an expensive hotel in Monaco, drinks "costing £20 for a gin & tonic," obligatory evening gown.
We were concerned about our friends' Monaco wedding, as it is renowned for being a jet-set destination. The hotel Hermitage, where all guests were asked to stay, cost £350 ($521) a night, and there was a minimum three-night stay. We turned down the offer of helicopter from Nice to Monaco for only £500 ($745) each! Drinks from the hotel bar cost £20 ($30) for a gin and tonic, and the nightclub we went to after the wedding was extortionate.
*Dee: hours of time, free photography services*
I was made to be the maid of honour by my close friend. On top of that, I was their only photographer, the person who made most of their decorations for the venue, and contributed countless hours to the smooth running of their big day. In return I was given an invitation to the wedding for one!
*Kate: 'Hundreds of dollars'*
*Spent on: *Maid of honor duties
I had never attended a wedding prior to the one I'm going to this week, and I agreed to be the maid of honor. The cost of this wedding has affected my whole year and annihilated my savings account. I wanted to be out of the country for my 30th birthday but now I probably can't afford it. I feel kind of resentful towards the whole endeavor, even though I'm trying not to be.
(Got a story of your own but weren't able to respond to our survey? Tell us in the comments below!) Reported by guardian.co.uk 13 minutes ago.
Guardian US Money columnist Helaine Olen recently reported that the average bride and groom can expect to spend $28,427 (£19,037) on their nuptials in 2013 – up 5% from 2012.
Not sure if we could believe what we were reading, we asked guests who had attended these uber-weddings to share details of some of the most shameless nuptials they'd ever attended. But it wasn't just the weddings themselves that struck us as unreasonable.
The way our readers tell it, the ballooning cost of these weddings are increasingly being passed on to the guests. They reached deep into their own pockets for globe-spanning flights, overpriced hotels, unnecessary registry gifts, and, in what we consider to be perhaps the most obscene expenditure of all, *£20 for a gin and tonic* (about $30). You read that correctly: a gin and tonic. In some cases, the cost of attending or participating in the wedding forced guests to put their own plans on hold. One guest confessed: "When I get an invitation, my first reaction is always: 'Can I get out of this somehow?'"
Find it hard to believe? Below, our readers tell us about their brush with the wedding-industrial complex, and what it cost them mentally and financially.
*Holly: £1,000 ($1,500)*
*Spent on:* £600 ($894) for travel to Italy, £100 ($149) gift, spending money and party/bridesmaids duties.
By the time the wedding comes around, I'll have been saving for over a year, and worry that still I won't have enough put away.
*Amanda: £6,000 ($8,950)*
*Spent on: *Travel; upscale hotel in the Bahamas where guests were required to stay.
It was not even a real wedding! It was a renewal of vows for their 10th anniversary. The most ridiculous thing was that the couple divorced about two years later! For one bride in particular, a number of pre-wedding luncheons were held, each with a theme and information about the couple's registry. The expectation was that each guest would bring a different gift to each event, in addition to a wedding gift.
*Mary: £1,200 ($1,789)*
*Spent on:* Flight for the wedding, flight for the hen party (and cost of hen party), gift (in cash), dress, shoes, haircut.
My brother and his wife were very grasping, asking for a minimum gift from family of £300 ($447) and boasting about how much they'd 'cleared'. I turn down invitations now because of hen-night costs, new clothes (because bridezillas are very offended if you wear something you already have), travel expenses, gifts, bridal showers, and hotel expenses.
*Lowell: £16,000 ($23,860)*
*Spent on: *Crates of champagne
[It was a] hot air balloon wedding with 40 guests. Only 10 guests could fit into the balloon, so the ceremony was conducted with most guests, me included, still on the ground. The balloon flight was three hours, so guests who couldn't fit were left to kick heels until it returned. Guests were in suits, some in morning dress, stuck in this field. The reasoning behind the balloon ride was that the ever increasing altitude of the balloon symbolised their ever-increasing love. Ahem.
*Louis: More than £10,000 ($14,913)*
*Spent on:* His brother's Australian wedding
The wedding wedding involved a simple ceremony in a backwoods town in Australia. This time [my brother] borrowed money off my folks to fly his children from his first marriage and their partners out from the UK, and his best man, who was unable to contribute in any way to the wedding. Because of going all the way to Australia, people were encouraged to come for at least two weeks. Oh, and one more thing: there was a colour palette it was verboten not to dress in. [Correct color] swatches were sent with the invites."
*Poppy: over £3,000 ($4,473)*
*Spent on: *Flights to Monaco, an expensive hotel in Monaco, drinks "costing £20 for a gin & tonic," obligatory evening gown.
We were concerned about our friends' Monaco wedding, as it is renowned for being a jet-set destination. The hotel Hermitage, where all guests were asked to stay, cost £350 ($521) a night, and there was a minimum three-night stay. We turned down the offer of helicopter from Nice to Monaco for only £500 ($745) each! Drinks from the hotel bar cost £20 ($30) for a gin and tonic, and the nightclub we went to after the wedding was extortionate.
*Dee: hours of time, free photography services*
I was made to be the maid of honour by my close friend. On top of that, I was their only photographer, the person who made most of their decorations for the venue, and contributed countless hours to the smooth running of their big day. In return I was given an invitation to the wedding for one!
*Kate: 'Hundreds of dollars'*
*Spent on: *Maid of honor duties
I had never attended a wedding prior to the one I'm going to this week, and I agreed to be the maid of honor. The cost of this wedding has affected my whole year and annihilated my savings account. I wanted to be out of the country for my 30th birthday but now I probably can't afford it. I feel kind of resentful towards the whole endeavor, even though I'm trying not to be.
(Got a story of your own but weren't able to respond to our survey? Tell us in the comments below!) Reported by guardian.co.uk 13 minutes ago.